Once upon a time, there was a very famous writer, who when asked what his process for writing was said that, "it's very simply really, I just stare at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood appear on my forehead." I think that anyone who is familiar with the concept of creative process understands exactly what that author is talking about. I'm familiar with my own process and there comes a time - somewhere between half and two-thirds of the way towards completion - that drops of blood start to appear on my forehead. It's not a fun experience. In fact when I reach that point I will often come very close to scrapping the project and moving onto something new. New is exciting, new is fun, new is filled with promise, while old is dull, drab, painfully slow to progress and fraught with difficulty. My film "I Hate Zombies" has reached this point, in spades. Not only do I question my ability as an animator and writer, but my abilities as an IT technician as well. Almost everything that can go wrong with this project has gone wrong: lack of inspiration, frustration and "blanking out" in animating, a hard drive crash, hours of delays due to personal and family obligations, time stolen by work/another class/driving to and from home/work/school, and near fatal static charge on my thumb drive, lack of sleep, and a general panic attack. That having been said, I find that if I just grind on - regardless of the problems and my own emotions - I can complete the project, whatever it is. Usually, months later, I'll review the project and wonder how I actually did it. This film project is grinding right now and I'm feeling very burned out. I cannot honestly say that I will get it gone in time, but I will try. After all, there's always hope. Simply because it's the one thing we haven't figured out how to kill...yet. Hopefully I'll be able to look back on this in a few months and enjoy the fruits of my labors. Stay tuned...
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